‘After decades of great sex, I suddenly wasn’t interested – here’s how I fixed it’

Married to her husband for over 30 years, Louise Able, 60, had always enjoyed a healthy and fulfilling love life – but as soon as menopause hit, she realised the spark had gone

The menopause can be a whirlwind of hot flushes, mood swings, and sleepless nights, but for one woman the most shocking aspect was she went off sex. Completely. Married to her husband for over 30 years, Louise Able, 60, had always enjoyed a healthy and fulfilling love life. But as soon as menopause hit, she realised the spark had gone. Louise, a former TV producer who now works as a menopause coach and restaurant manager, felt incredibly sad as she realised that the menopause had taken all interest in sex and intimacy away from her.

“The physical intimacy with my husband had always been a strong facet of our relationship,” says Louise, from Cornwall.

“Initially, I rationalised it away. Life was demanding: a full-time job, managing a bustling family, and the constant hum of other menopausal symptoms that seemed to drain my energy. It felt perfectly logical to attribute my waning interest to sheer exhaustion. “But as the months stretched into a year, then more, a stark reality began to emerge. The spark was gone. The spontaneous desire, the innate energy, the genuine interest in intimacy had all vanished. “In its place, a creeping sense of dread would set in when I realised it had been a significant time since we’d been physically close. “While once we ‘got going’ things were usually fine, the mental effort required to even conjure a feeling of desire was immense, utterly draining, and honestly, just too tiring.”

It wasn’t just the lack of interest in sex that made doing the deed tricky. Louise also suffered from vaginal dryness.

“This discomfort only served to further dampen any lingering inclination towards intimacy,” Louise explains. “I started HRT, which did offer some relief for the dryness, but both my husband and I were left confused and, quite frankly, deeply saddened by my persistent lack of desire. “It wasn’t about him, not specifically; it was the entire act itself that I found myself recoiling from. I recall countless evenings spent feigning sleep, hoping to avoid a conversation or an attempt at intimacy that I simply wasn’t prepared for.” Louise, who has two sons aged 26 and 28, also suffered from a variety of other debilitating menopause symptoms.

She dealt with immense stomach pains, and joint pains, but doctors seemed unaware that these could be menopause symptoms. “I went to the doctors and they said ‘we can give you some co-codamol for the joint pain and we can give you a really strong antacid for the tummy pain’,” Louise remembers.

“I got really upset because I thought that’s a rubbish answer as I can’t take co-codamol anyway as it’s going to upset my stomach even more. “They offered me anti-depressants and I just thought I’m not depressed, I know there’s something wrong with me, but I’m not depressed. There was no information whatsoever about menopause at the time.” Louise chatted to some friends, and decided to manage her symptoms with a radical change of her diet and supplements. But though this helped with her physical symptoms she then began to experience dramatic brain fog, which negatively impacted her job and confidence.

“For me that was the worst part of menopause as I literally thought I was losing my mind,” says Louise. “I was quite anxious and I’m really not an anxious person. “I had to do a lot of Zoom presentations and halfway through talking about something, my brain would just go blank.

“It was very depressing and it became this kind of downward spiral of a real mental health thing. I talked to a lot of women and a lot of women do have that experience.” Louise began to realise what an all-encompassing effect the menopause was having, not just on her, but on many other women of her age. She did a huge amount of research, which led her to write a book about menopause and train as a menopause coach to help other women.

“By this time I’d started doing quite a bit of research into menopause and Dr Louise Newson’s work, and I decided to get HRT and that changed everything,” she adds. “At the time, no one in the medical profession recognised any of the symptoms that I had as menopausal ones. “No one was talking about the mental health side of things and they weren’t talking about the physical side of things. “And they were definitely not talking about the sexual side of things. And it’s a big thing. For many of my clients, the loss of libido and the vaginal atrophy is depressing and physically painful.” To help her get back her sexual mojo, Louise began to take Neuaura’s Intimate+ libido tablets – and soon found her interest in sex returning. “My initial reaction was a blend of interest and deep scepticism,” Louise says. “After all, I’d tried various things, and the promise of a renewed libido felt almost too good to be true. Yet, I was willing to try anything to get back to my old self. So, I decided to give it a go. “To my genuine surprise, within the first two weeks, I could undeniably feel a difference. It’s quite a unique sensation, actually, and certainly a very pleasant one. The most significant shift was that feeling of ‘interest’ returning. “Along with this newfound interest, came a surge of energy and, thrillingly, a sense of feeling sexy again.” Louise wants to encourage other women to stay positive and to be aware that there is help for them out there. “Now, I feel as desirable and sexually assured as I did in my 30s and 40s,” she adds. “It’s an incredible feeling to be alive again, to not feel resigned to the narrative of ‘getting old’ and feeling ‘washed up and dried up’. “This product has truly helped me reclaim a vital part of my womanhood and embrace this new chapter with renewed passion and joy. Find Louise Able at @‌happy_healthymum. Her book Menopause for Beginners is available on Amazon.