Monday, September 8, 2025

‘Anything can happen’: how 14 empty nesters are reimagining their lives | US news

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Photograph: Rohina Hoffman

The term “empty nest” first emerged in the late 19th century, gaining traction in psychological and sociological discourse by the 1940s. Originally, it evoked a singular image: a mother alone in a quiet house, mourning the departure of her last child. But the reality, then and now, is far more nuanced. While the term was once gendered, today the emotional impact is felt across all parents, regardless of role or identity.

The empty nest is not a fixed state but a mutable one. For some, it arrives with a deep ache, a sense of disorientation or loss. For others, it marks a period of renewal, space reclaimed, silence embraced, autonomy rediscovered. The nest may stay quiet or grow noisy again with boomerang children, ageing parents or new partners. Some preserve their homes like time capsules; others transform them entirely, reimagining their lives within, claiming room for new identities, desires and rhythms.

In the United States, there were an estimated 20.9 million empty-nest households in 2022, defined, perhaps narrowly, as adults aged 55 and older with no children at home and at least two spare bedrooms, according to a Zillow housing analysis based on Census Bureau microdata. At the same time, 18% of adults aged 25–34 were still living in their parents’ homes, the Pew Research Center reported in 2023, underscoring the fluidity of modern family life.

My own experience sparked this project. With three closely aged children, my husband and I went from anticipating an empty nest to the pandemic’s upheaval, when the children never left or returned soon after. These shifts left me wondering how others navigate the same emotional terrain.

This photo essay explores that in-between space, homes no longer centered on children yet not entirely free of their presence. Through interviews and intimate portraits, I have documented parents in and around Los Angeles county whose nests are empty, partially empty or perpetually in flux.

For many, this phase is both loss and gain, grief and freedom folded into one. Their stories – tender, complex and often contradictory – reveal that “empty” is rarely the right word. What emerges instead is a quiet choreography of change, where absence and reinvention often share the same space.

Staci and Peter

Empty nesters for 10 months; one child

I was a little panicked that she was going to be gone and we’d never talk to her. And it’s actually quite the opposite. We talk to her three times a day, actually, sometimes more than that.

I miss her being here physically so I can hug her. But also, I don’t miss that because it comes with all the other things – the mess and the chaos.

What we didn’t anticipate was how hard it would be to lose both our dog and cat soon after our daughter left for college – suddenly, the house felt empty of both our child and our furry companions. We’re still adjusting. Staci

Barry and Debbie

Empty nesters for five years; one child

So much of her life is still around here. There’s a lot of horse stuff and stuff that she collected. Barry

Barry was morose for a long time. He would go down the hallway and stand in front of her room. I had a bit of a “yay” moment … As long as I knew she was safe, I felt really good. Debbie (pictured in lead image)

Amy and Eddie

Two images – woman on the left in a garden, man on the right standing at massive model of miniature skate park

Empty nesters for two years; four children

It has been an adjustment. I like not having to schedule what’s for dinner …

Their rooms are as they left them. I take a picture of their rooms and show them how their plants are doing, and I will alternate their rooms where I take a nap. Eddie

It is a mixed bag. It is relief … but I also miss the liveliness. I am enjoying daily exercise, prioritizing myself, seeing clients but also finally writing. That is something I wanted to do my whole life. Amy

Tiza and Kevin

Empty nesters for nine years, blended family; three children
We never had a relationship without kids. We got married when the kids were eight and nine. We always had kids so now we get to figure out, what does our relationship look like without them?

It was an emotional rollercoaster. On one hand, I had extra time – I no longer had to drive here and there, and have her schedule in my head in addition to my own. But on the other hand, I felt a loss of purpose. What do I want to do now? What am I doing besides working? Who am I? What is my life? What is my joy and what are my wants? Tiza

Carolina

Empty nester for six months; two children
I am divorced after a long marriage and am not dating anyone. I definitely used to be all about my marriage and kids, and I feel like I did so much for them that I lost myself. It hasn’t been about me since my 20s so I guess I am trying to rediscover myself after all of these years.

I definitely do enjoy the freedom in not having to worry about someone else. But at the same time that gets lonely.

Graphic with three lines of text that say, in bold, ‘Well Actually’, then ‘Read more on living a good life in a complex world,’ then a pinkish-lavender pill-shaped button with white letters that say ‘More from this section’ 

Tony

Tony’s daughter, Amanda, pictured in the background, lives with him at home in California.

Brief empty nester, home now repopulated; two children
Both kids have been living here for the past couple of years. My daughter’s furniture is here, replacing mine. I try to provide support for them in everything they do. I love making French toast for them. Most of the time there’s no one home, or there is someone home but there is no sign of anybody.

Sometimes I don’t want anybody in the house and they are here. I can’t be myself. It is supposed to be my space. It is supposed to be my time now.

Allyson and David

Empty nesters for one year, home now repopulated; two children
We converted half of the house, where the boys’ rooms were, into a second space to rent out, to have some passive income. Our goal is to have passive income so that we can retire. My husband was not initially on board, thinking it might be weird having a stranger there. But our older son and his girlfriend moved into it, and it worked out well. They pay rent and have a totally separate space. Allyson

Initially, I felt it was odd to charge my son rent to live in his room but I have come around. We want them to have an appreciation for earned income. David

Sondra

Empty nester for 3.5 years; one child
The biggest change was having the focus of my life be back on me. In general, the focus of my life is not me, because I always have my patients and I have my ageing parents and [my daughter].

Everyone thought I was going to lose my mind. Because they thought she and I were co-dependent and that neither of us would be able to survive without the other. And we both did just fine.

I can’t say I miss her, per se. I overscheduled myself in the beginning on purpose just to fill the time, but then I realized I don’t need to do that because I am fine. I am OK!

Melanie and Albhy

Empty nesters (first time more than 20 years ago, and again three years ago); three children
“Empty nest” is a loaded term for most people. For us, it’s just a step in evolution. It is a continuum. You may leave; they may go away for a while. They may come back. They may get married, you may have grandchildren. They may go off and do something for a year while you take care of their grandchild. Anything can happen. Albhy

Jeannie

Empty nester for five months; three children
I was mostly looking forward to being an empty nester and I felt guilty for thinking that I would be happy that my kids had flown the coop, but I was also nervous because I did not know what to expect.

I’ve got back into cooking. It used to be whatever I made had to be something they would eat. Now I can make what I want to eat.

I am definitely messier when they are not around. I am definitely letting loose. I feel less guilty about going out. I’ve been taking care of myself and finding my own joy that doesn’t necessarily involve them, but with them gone, it has been amplified.

Shannon and Nestor

Two images. Woman on left gardens; man on left stands at massive miniature skate park model in vaulted living room.
Now that her eldest son, who has a bee allergy, is out of the house, Shannon feels she has the freedom to plant fruit trees. Nestor, with their son’s finger-boarding ramp: ‘It’s collecting dust. It’s still beautiful. And I get the emotional connection, but no one is using it and it’s taking up half of the living room.’

Empty nesters for six months, home briefly repopulated; two children

You take comfort in knowing that they’re in a new stage in their lives, charting their own course. Or at least I try! A big problem for me has been stepping back and trying not to fix issues. I need to let them sort it out. I have to fight the impulse to try and fix everything for them and that’s been a challenge.

I certainly have felt a shift to much more bigger-picture questions about life … When you are in parent mode, you’re so invested in the day-to-day activities of your kids, in the minutia. So once that’s gone, I certainly found myself pondering a lot of bigger questions about life, about what comes after this, and what is beyond this life. Nestor

Wendy and John

Empty nesters for four years; one child
We argue less as a couple when it’s just the two of us. For some reason the tension is lower without a child around, even if the child’s an angel – they are scrutinizing your relationship with your partner and those kinds of things. John

I was always the “on-call person”, and after she left, I started a whole new career. I kind of feel like I’m free. But at the drop of a hat I would get on a plane and go to save her. Wendy

Interviews have been condensed and edited for clarity.



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