Born in Liverpool, Chris McCausland, 48, became a software engineer before losing his sight in his 20s due to a genetic disorder. Forced to change careers, he worked in sales before turning to standup comedy in 2003. In 2024, he took part in Strictly Come Dancing and won. His waltz with professional Dianne Buswell was awarded the memorable moment Bafta in 2025. This year, he added more than 100 new dates to his theatre tour Yonks!, which runs until May 2026, and he has just published a memoir called Keep Laughing. He is married with one child and lives in London.
When were you happiest?
My college years when I was 17 to 19, before the responsibilities of adulthood, just doing the things that I was good at and liked – computers, maths, further maths (I was a geek).
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I’m judgmental.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfishness.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
When I was losing my sight, I couldn’t see where I was going, and I went into an undertaker’s thinking it was a barber’s. I asked the undertaker whether he had many waiting.
Describe yourself in three words
Hard-working, resilient, irritating.
What would your superpower be?
I can do things with my eyes shut.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I haven’t seen myself in 25 years, but probably my lank, pathetic hair.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Dinosaurs that can’t get out of the water.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
There’s a glaring problem here, but – fuck it – Denzel Washington, because he’s the best.
Which book are you ashamed not to have read?
To Kill a Mockingbird – I was meant to read it for an exam and I didn’t and I cheated. I was allowed to use a laptop to type my answers because I couldn’t see my writing, so I hid an electronic copy of the book on the laptop.
What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
I was thrown out of a club by bouncers when I walked into somebody and told them that I was registered blind. They said: “Don’t give a fuck – you don’t belong in here.” As a straight white man, it gives you a taste of what other people have to contend with.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
The film While You Were Sleeping with Sandra Bullock.
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What does love feel like?
Loud and noisy.
Which living person do you most despise, and why?
Whoever invented Auto-Tune in pop songs because it’s ruined a lot of music that was pretty shit already.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
A lot of awful gigs. You can’t become a successful comedian without dying on your arse more times than you can remember.
How often do you have sex?
Whenever Jupiter is aligned with Neptune and there is an X in the name of the day.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Eyesight.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Strictly. I went into it thinking I would last two weeks!
Tell us a secret
I am considering getting a hair transplant. When you’re a comedian, it’s tax deductible.
