Born in Washington state, Brandi Carlile, 44, released her self-titled debut album in 2005. She went on to win 11 Grammy awards and is part of the country supergroup the Highwomen. She has collaborated with Joni Mitchell and this year released the album Who Believes in Angels? with Elton John. Their song Never Too Late was Oscar nominated. She has published a memoir, and established the charitable Looking Out Foundation. Her eighth studio album, Returning to Myself, was released last month. Carlile lives in Washington state with her wife and two daughters.
When were you happiest?
I’m the happiest right now. I can see that I’m in a kind of sweet spot: my parents are alive, my kids are little, my wife is hot and my body doesn’t hurt.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Self-righteousness and a phobia of embarrassment.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Greed, lack of empathy. Same thing.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Leaving the stage from a panic attack in my 20s. Hearing the audience angry.
What is your most treasured possession?
The log cabin I’ve lived in since I was 21.
Describe yourself in three words
Earnest, driven, Gemini.
What would your superpower be?
Persuasion.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I actually like the way I look, which I think is against the law in the UK.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Objective truth.
What is your most unappealing habit?
I never let the truth get in the way of a good story and I bite my nails until they’re gone.
What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
I love you but I hate your lifestyle.
Would you choose fame or anonymity?
Fame. But I will reject levels of fame that I don’t believe are healthy.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Love Island, 90 Day Fiancé, Wife Swap.
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To whom would you most like to say sorry and why?
To kids I bullied in school. I have apologised and I will continue to. To repay those things karmically, I will watch my kids’ hearts like a hawk for signs of hardening or any distortions of empathy that they might develop.
What does love feel like?
A lifelong sleepover.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
I’m not thrilled with my lack of commitment to feminism in my 20s.
If not yourself, who would you most like to be?
Elton John. Fearless bitch with a huge heart. Doesn’t get embarrassed, knows how to apologise.
When did you last cry, and why?
I cried last week after talking about marriage equality with my daughters. My oldest let slip that she believed that if the supreme court overturned Obergefell, she wouldn’t have parents any more. I felt angry with my country and ashamed that I didn’t consider the possibility that she might think that.
How would you like to be remembered?
Human, evolving and faithful.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Sacrifice the self and you will gain it. Serve the self and you will lose it.
Tell us a secret
I try really hard to be deep but all I can think about is fishing.
