Sunday, November 30, 2025

Dining across the divide: ‘I was nervous – was he going to attack me for being a snowflake?’ | Life and style

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Peter, 34, London

Occupation Former civil servant, now a student, studying public health

Voting record Green last time (and a member of the party); previously Labour. Describes himself as “left, and globalist rather than nationalist”

Amuse bouche A drawing of a teacup Peter did as a kid was once hung in the National Gallery of Ireland


Akshat, 43, Harrow

Occupation Risk manager in the infrastructure industry

Voting record Originally from India, Akshat has lived in the UK for five years, and voted Conservative. Describes himself as “slightly right of centre”

Amuse bouche Akshat taught himself to read and write Urdu. “I have no use for it, I was just fascinated”


For starters

Akshat Over the last 20 years, I’ve lived and worked in Qatar, South Korea, the US. The issues Peter and I talked about are UK-centric, but they are also universal, because human life more or less follows the same curve wherever it is. I was expecting someone very liberal, but Peter wasn’t all gung ho – we had a good, rational discussion. I had a couple of beers, Peter had mojitos.

Peter We shared starters – fishy spring rolls, dumplings, daikon cakes with beansprouts, which were excellent. I was a little nervous, as I think Akshat was. Was he going to attack me for being a snowflake? We’re both immigrants. I grew up in Dublin; I’ve lived in the US and Spain. We bonded over our love of London.


The big beef

Akshat I look at immigration like adding salt to a dish. When you add a little bit, the dish tastes wonderful. Add too little or too much and the dish is either too bland or too salty.

Peter Akshat had a metaphor about salt. It would be a funny place to be if the government was choosing some ideal ethnic makeup of the country.

Akshat There are, unfortunately, people fleeing persecution, but a lot of people coming to the UK are economic migrants who do not necessarily contribute much and can weigh on the benefit system. Nobody forces you to go to a new country for opportunity, so you should only go if you can take care of yourself and your family.

Peter We got lost with some of the facts. I don’t think it’s like you come over and work and then after five years you get permanent citizenship. Nothing is automatic. It’s been a hostile environment since Theresa May, visa fees are really high, you pay an NHS surcharge, access to benefits is restricted. The red carpet isn’t rolled out for anyone. And regarding the recent changes, whereby you can’t bring your family over, it’s incredible to say: we want your work, but we don’t want you. I think we have to have a certain level of humanity.


Sharing plate

Akshat Peter’s sceptical of unchecked capitalism. I am, too, but at the same time, wealth creation benefits society and should be encouraged.

Peter We’re both internationalist. And we agreed that some parts of the society – politics, the media – thrive off stoking division. We did find common ground in fundamentals and values.


For afters

Akshat Peter is of the opinion that because the UK benefitted from colonial times, it should pay reparations to those countries. My view is simply: you cannot judge history with present day morality; times are different, current society had no control of what happened 50 or 100 years ago. Let’s say the UK had to compensate India, it would be a huge amount of money. Is the UK in a position to do that? No.

Peter Until recently, I don’t think there was much reckoning with colonial history. For example, when I first moved to the UK, people weren’t aware of the Irish famine and the part that colonialism played in it. My view is that decolonisation isn’t just about signing a cheque, it should be about looking at what went wrong and where we should be now.


Takeaways

Akshat It won’t change the way I think, but I understand Peter’s concerns. I talk to people every day whose views are opposite to mine. It’s about bringing everyone to the same page, so that all of us can work towards the betterment of society.

Peter We were there for two and a half hours. Akshat had dessert and I had some sweet Japanese wine. I didn’t persuade him of anything, but we both enjoyed dinner, so we could hopefully be more open to having conversations with other people in future.

Additional reporting: Kitty Drake

Akshat and Peter ate at Huo Belsize Village in London.

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