Hi Ugly,
I have been noticing a barrage of ads for “vaginal wellness” products: suppositories, balms and serums, and even a “vagi facial” at a local spa. What’s up with this? I was always taught that my vagina was self-cleaning and beautiful. Suddenly I am not so sure, and even find myself wondering if my labia are “normal” or in fact gross. Is this really happening?
– Concerned Vagina
Call it the “box boom”.
In the past year, Kiehl’s has rolled out a 96-hour vulva “freshener” and Dove launched an “intimate” deodorant advertised to the tune of Khia’s 2001 hit My Neck, My Back (Lick It). There are muff-specific moisturizers now, as well as crotch-brightening creams, sprays to make your various “nooks” smell like bergamot and supplements to make your vagina taste sweeter. (Thanks, Kourtney Kardashian.) Even the old guard is stepping it up: Vagisil just announced a “groundbreaking” partnership with WNBA champions the New York Liberty.
The “feminine intimate care” market was valued at $7.8bn globally in 2024, and that figure is expected to nearly double over the next decade.
Then there are the procedures: you’ve noticed that vagi facials exist, but what about “Ozempic vulva” fat grafting, labial “lip filler” and “boxtox” to keep your snatch looking, well, snatched? Global rates of labiaplasty – the surgical snipping of the labia, sometimes called “designer vagina” surgery or the “Barbie Procedure”, although some ethicists prefer to refer to it as “female genital mutilation” – have also increased nearly 37% since 2016.
So yes, Concerned, this is really happening. The question is: why?
I have a theory! Maybe we’re increasingly obsessed with our genitals because the government is increasingly obsessed with our genitals. See: abortion bans, birth control debates, anti-trans laws, Britain’s recent ruling defining “woman” as “biologically female”, the rise of pro-natalist rhetoric, and Donald Trump’s renewed focus on rigid gender roles. These policies reduce people to bodies – to parts with prescribed uses. This causes a sort of general genital anxiety, which companies can leverage to sell us products.
According to the logic of vaginal cosmetics, when the state is policing your body, policing it yourself can restore some sense of control. Or if your future is determined by your vagina, you might as well optimize it.
Lest this theory sound a little conspiracy-minded, let me remind you that legislation has long had its hand in our pants.
In 1873, the federal Comstock Law in the US banned doctors and advertisers from promoting “birth control information and devices”, according to a 2010 paper by Michelle Ferranti. Douching was considered a form of contraception back then, and advertisers sidestepped the law with a new euphemism: “feminine hygiene”. Companies that sold vaginal douches dropped explicit contraceptive claims from their ads and instead “focused on the purported hygienic and therapeutic aspects of douching”.
By the time the FDA approved the pill in 1960, douching was widely known to be an ineffective birth control method, and advertisers had to invent new reasons to douche and new products to sell. They turned to “demand creation”, or the art of selling so-called solutions to problems consumers didn’t know they had. Deodorization quickly became the dominant pitch, alongside improved tone, elasticity, youthfulness, plumpness, purity and the feeling of freshness – anything to suggest “women’s bodies were aesthetically defective and in need of cosmetic improvement”, Ferranti writes.
Sound familiar?
We know today that douching isn’t an advisable “hygiene” practice – it can cause bacterial vaginosis and may be linked to infertility and STDs. But the industry’s propaganda is more prominent than ever, and new intimate care products come with their own potential problems.
The genital area is “very sensitive”, Dr Angela Wilson, a board-certified OB/GYN at Montefiore Einstein Advanced Care, tells me, and using these products “may cause irritation or infection”.
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You were taught right: the vagina is self-cleaning. “There is a normal vaginal discharge, made up of water and normal bacteria, in most women,” Wilson says. “It naturally keeps the vagina clean by continuously removing the dead cells from the vaginal lining.” That takes care of that! She does not recommend using any products inside the vagina.
In fact, like “feminine hygiene”, the term “vaginal wellness” is a marketing misnomer. Most products in this category are intended for the vulva – the labia, clitoris and mons pubis. And still they’re unnecessary. “Less is best” when it comes to keeping your vulva clean and healthy, Wilson says. “Wipe from front to back after using the restroom.” When you shower, “wash externally with soap and water.”
Even soap has its limits, though. “Harsh soaps or wipes”, according to Wilson, can throw off the pH of the area, leading to chronic inflammation, burning and/or itching. Dr Jen Gunter, author of The Vagina Bible, has recommended washing with “a gentle facial cleanser” for this reason. Bonus: you won’t be supporting a brand that profits off genital shame!
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Whatever you use, avoid perfumes, dyes and alcohol, Wilson adds. If you notice a strong and unusual odor, it could be a sign of infection, so don’t grab a fig-scented freshening spray – go to the doctor.
Cosmetically speaking, I can guarantee your labia are not “gross”. If they cause you pain or discomfort, see an OB-GYN. Otherwise, scroll through The Labia Library – a non-profit women’s health resource – and delight in the diverse range of totally normal-looking labia on display: Long! Short! Pink! Brown! Hairy! Waxed! Pierced! Whatever!
The next time a “vagi facial” ad pops up, remember that progress toward women’s liberation has always been met with escalating pressure on our bodies. The idea that your vagina should smell as fresh as a daisy or look like a doll’s is an attack on your autonomy, an insult to your humanity and a hazard to your health.
