We’ve all enjoyed the odd night out at an Irish pub – but are you completely sure you’re doing it right? Luckily Meg ‘Blarney’ Jorsh has some tips…
Irish pubs are springing up all over Britain as drinkers look to enjoy “the craic” closer to home, as the Daily Star revealed yesterday. It follows a surge in Guinness sales that saw the classic stout being rationed last year.
But how can we get the best out of this new national resource? Here’s our definitive user’s guide…
How to order
Congratulations! You’ve made it to your local Irish pub. Whatever else happens tonight, you’re going to need a drink. Don’t expect table service, because it’s definitely not happening – just head over to the bar and try to look friendly.
Camaraderie is key, so if you’re with a group of people, someone’s going to need to get a round in. If you dodge your turn or choose more expensive booze when someone else is paying, your mates are entitled to force-feed you a beer mat.
What to drink
Guinness, obviously. This dark ruby-red stout, known fondly as the Black Stuff, has been Ireland’s unofficial national drink since 1759.
You’ll need to be patient, as it takes around two minutes to develop its distinctive creamy head. If you’re feeling ambitious, you could try ‘splitting the G’ – perfectly judging your first gulp so the level of your drink hits halfway down the Guinness logo on your pint glass. Your prize will be a bellyful of Guinness.
If you’re looking for something a bit more exotic, you could go for a Murphy’s Irish Stout, brewed in Cork since 1856. You could even move on to an Irish whiskey like Jameson, Bushmills or Redbreast.
What to talk about
Have you ever tried hurling? It’s a fast-paced stick and ball game, played by teams of 15 on a rectangular grass pitch with H-shaped goals at either end. The Irish have been fans for the last 3,000 years, so if you’ve never heard of it, now’s your opportunity to ask a few questions.
Otherwise, try and keep it light. A bit of good-natured teasing, known as “slagging,” is to be expected. This isn’t the place for controversial takes on current affairs.
Entertainment
In a proper Irish pub, you might catch a spontaneous ‘trad session’ laid on by the local musicians. They’ll sing tunes like Dirty Old Town and Whiskey in the Jar, accompanied by the bodhràn, uilleann pipe, Irish bouzouki or fiddle. Plenty of Irish bands started out playing in boozers, including The Dubliners, The Pogues and even U2.
If you’d prefer something quieter, try a pub game like darts, rings or shove ha’penny. You’ll be happy enough once you’re a few pints in.
Useful phrases
What’s the craic? – How are you/what’s happening?
A pint of gat – A pint of Guinness
Sláinte! – Pronounced ‘slaan-sha,’ it means ‘cheers!’
Banjaxed – Broken, ruined or completely worn out. You might need this tomorrow.
Acting the maggot – Fooling around.
Deadly – Excellent, impressive or generally cool.
The jacks – The loos. Some say it refers to Jack Power, the inventor of the multi-stall toilet, or it could be an Irish take on ‘the John’.
Suckin’ diesel – Progressing smoothly, like a diesel engine once it’s running at full power.
Meeting/shifting – Snogging. You never know, it could happen.
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