I’m a lifelong vegetarian, but my boyfriend is a dedicated carnivore. How can I cook to please us both?
Victoria, by email
“I have three words for you, Victoria,” says Anna Ansari, author of Silk Roads, who grew up in a predominantly vegetarian household: “Di si xian.” Typical of northern China, this stir-fry of aubergine, potato and peppers (otherwise known as the “three treasures”) is laced with soy, Shoaxing wine, white pepper, sugar, cornflour and, in Ansari’s case, doubanjiang. She also adds tofu (the fourth treasure, if you will) for “a rounded, one-pot/wok dinner” to eat with steamed rice. “It reminds me of being a teenager in Beijing, far from home and in need of warmth and comfort,” she says, and we could all do with some of that right now. “It’s also cheap as proverbial chips, not to mention quick to make, and it will knock both your socks off. Promise.”
Mushrooms could also pave the way to harmonious dining. “Surely they’re the closest thing to a natural meat substitute,” says Zak Hitchman, chef/owner of Other in Bristol. He’d be inclined to layer them up in a lasagne: “Slice a load of mixed mushrooms [chestnut, shiitake, oyster], then saute them in oil and butter with some seasoning.” Next, fry onion, garlic, celery, diced carrot, maybe some rosemary or thyme, until softened, then return the cooked mushrooms to the pot with some tinned tomatoes and tomato puree. “You could bulk it out with tinned lentils,” he says, but either way be sure to include a splash of soy and some miso for “that meaty flavour”, plus any vinegar you have knocking around “for balance”. Cook slowly until reduced, then layer between dried lasagne sheets. “Top that with bechamel [or simply dollop on some mascarpone] and lots of grated parmesan [a vegetarian one, if need be]. Drizzle with olive oil and bake until the pasta is soft, the sauce bubbling and the top golden.”
Rob Howell, chef/patron of Root, which recently opened in Bath, also suggests smoothing relations with mushrooms: “Roast a load of them with warming spices [cumin, coriander, allspice] and oil in a hot oven, then skewer for a kebab vibe.” Grill and brush with molasses or “anything a bit soy, a bit sweet, a bit umami”, and serve with flatbread, tahini yoghurt, herbs and pickled red cabbage.
We all know that the key to any healthy relationship is compromise, so dinners that welcome a bit of meat or fish plonked alongside are also good to have in your back pocket. You could, Howell suggests, combine butter beans and roast cauliflower puree “for a take on cauliflower cheese”, or cook borlotti beans with veg, blend and top with grilled onions, hazelnut salsa and chilli. Risottos also fall into this happy camp, with pumpkin/squash roasted, mashed and stirred through arborio rice topping Hitchman’s list. Serve sprinkled with roast chestnuts and pumpkin seeds, plus a chicken thigh or pork chop for the boyfriend.
Otherwise, Ansari would be inclined to do a dumpling date: “Roll out the dough, stuff the dumplings – I’m into ground lamb and onion, and mushroom and tofu – grab a drink while they steam, then smother them in browned butter.” There is one final option, Ansari says: “Dump the guy?” Although, surely everyone loves a dumpling, so maybe give those a go first.
