What are the biggest life lessons? Things like how to navigate uncertainty, or what clothes never to wash together? What are the best life-enhancing secrets – big or small – that took years to discover and now need to be shared? Campbell Norris, by email
Send new questions to nq@theguardian.com.
Readers reply
No pockets in a shroud. Machine2
A big one for me is the ability to let others be wrong. It’s not up to any of us to tutor others in the ways of righteousness. That doesn’t mean never challenging anyone, but rather not getting emotionally invested in changing their mind. This is especially relevant in our political climate, but also it’s important for one’s own peace. That person was thinking exactly the same thing five minutes before you heard their opinion and it wasn’t affecting you then. There will always be people who are baffling to us. That’s fine. If you’re right about something, that doesn’t change no matter who wants to agree with you. Zedderp
Don’t think you’re the girl who can fix him. lexicon_mistress
Nobody changes unless they want to. And your life won’t change unless you make it happen. MonsieurBrightside
Always have the duvet that is one size bigger than the mattress. EvilSlug
A lesson I learned from my father, when the only possible toilet was in a grand hotel. “We’re going to walk in like we’re staying there, like we own the place.” It worked when I was nine, and has often been effective since. LMCollis
No matter how complex, bizarre and improbable the situation you are in, somebody exists whose job is to help people in situations like yours. The problem that you think you have can be reduced to the problem of finding this person. SpoilheapSurfer
Doing things to make yourself happy brings a shallow and short-lived happiness that needs frequent repetition. Doing things that make other people happy brings deeper satisfaction. However, trying to make yourself happy by making other people happy falls into the first category. MrEVoice
Spend time with people who make you laugh. Try to simply be yourself. If you pretend to be someone else, you miss out on the people who will like you for who you really are. LemonCactus
Don’t poke the bear. But also, never be afraid to poke the bear. Dorkalicious
Start your day with the intention to make people smile – amazing how it can lift your spirits. The salesperson in the supermarket or coffee shop, they are all people, so why not help cheer up their day? Jamesb007
In the words of Pablo Picasso, “If you know exactly what you are going to do, what is the point in doing it?” Nikkasnifter
Don’t waste time in crap relationships. You could be doing so many other things. Forest
The longest distance between two points is a shortcut. EddieChorepost
As my dear old late Dad said, “It’s very rare that you’ll get the three cherries in a row.” He meant that there is a time to stop chasing the near impossible. PeteTheBeat
This, too, shall pass. Leoned
After 40 years of clutter in the cupboard under the kitchen sink, I suddenly thought of putting everything into a storage box, which I then pull out to find things. Goldgreen
Listening. Really listening. kiramango
Avoid life-hackers, here’s-howers, guides, gurus, podcasters, advice peddlers, and weekend-workshop-punters-who-reckon-they’re-now-experts. Most of them know less about life than the cat, and are just involved in selling something, even if it’s only a features piece. Be like O’Brien: “Yes Winston, we of the Inner Party do (still) have the privilege to turn off the Telescreen”. Also: whatever you do, never, ever put cat litter down the toilet. bricklayersoption
That thing that really matters? Most of the time it doesn’t. PaulMariner
Being witnesses as we all are to this century’s greedy billionaires and homicidal warmongers, we can look back to ancient history to learn from the Meditations of Roman emperor and philosopher-king Marcus Aurelius who ruled from AD161-180. He was raised by benevolent parents and practised good morals, truth, justice, manliness, mildness of temper, gratitude, fairness and shunned envy, duplicity and hypocrisy. RP Orlando, by email
Desperately wanting biological children but having to have a hysterectomy. And then inheriting stepchildren and grandchildren, who, despite not being blood relations, are more my children than I can ever imagine “my children” being. It’s society’s biggest control over women that you have to have your own children to be a real woman. What a load of bollocks. If you’re in your 30s and panicking, don’t! Because it’s out of your hands and it will be what it’ll be. Stop obsessing. Life is too short. Charlotte Lumb-Mercer, by email
If you’re dating someone and haven’t/won’t/can’t imagine yourself introducing them to your parents, have a good think about the reasons why! Also: always talk to your partner the way you would want your child’s partner to talk to them. Lisa Smart, by email
To know early on that life is not endless and that time is the most precious thing we have – to waste it is a tragedy. Helen Mitchell, by email
Don’t sweat the small stuff … and it’s all small stuff. Domhnall Collier, by email
Having the ability to listen. Listening allows you to learn, understand, and respond if necessary. It adds depth to relationships, fosters empathy, and widens one’s worldview. It is the enemy of bigotry and misanthropy. There is no downside, everybody benefits. Dean, by email
Relinquish your expectations. The next time you feel disappointed or let down, ask yourself the question: what has disappointed you? Your expectations of the action, or the outcome of what has happened? Beth Vipond, by email
Find and hold on to the people that accept and celebrate who you are. If they don’t, they aren’t your people. Carrie van der Wal, Gelderland, Nederlands, by email
Pause and take a breath before taking action. Robert Sherman, by email
