Born in London, Stephen K Amos, 57, gained a criminal justice degree before becoming a standup. He made his debut at the Edinburgh festival fringe in 2001, and in 2013 he was given his own Radio 4 show, What Does the K Stand For?, which ran for three series. As an actor, he starred in Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and a revival of My Night With Reg, and was nominated for best supporting performer at the What’s On Stage awards. His latest standup show, Now We’re Talking, is touring the UK. He lives in London.
Which living person do you most admire and why?
John McCarthy, the journalist who was held captive for five years in Beirut. I’ve met him and he was so full of peace, humility and forgiveness – it was inspiring.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I’m slightly impatient.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Ignorance and rudeness. Decency and a please and thank you cost nothing.
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
A Porsche 911 Turbo.
Describe yourself in three words
Funny, loyal, genuine.
What makes you unhappy?
Unfairness and inequality. We should be more tolerant of others and be grateful that we are not walking in their shoes.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My toes are really hideous. And they are attached to the spindliest legs you’ve ever seen.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
I’d bring back the classic home telephone and get rid of the mobile.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Biting my nails.
What scares you about getting older?
Vulnerability.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Claudia Winkleman.
What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
“Do you know what your problem is?” It was a dear friend of mine. They were referring to the fact that I’m impatient.
What was the last lie that you told?
I did a gig recently with somebody who wasn’t particularly funny, and I was very polite and said it was good.
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What is your guiltiest pleasure?
I am a huge Judge Judy fan – she’s the lawyer that I never was.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
I was a guard on the Orient Express – however, only when it was stationed at a railway siding in Vauxhall.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Looking back is not productive.
When did you last cry and why?
I last shed a tear when my nephew, who is under 10, announced that he was learning the trombone. When I was about the same age and wanted to learn the trumpet, a music teacher said: “The trumpet isn’t for you. You’ve got too-thick lips.”
How often do you have sex?
Not often enough.
What would you like to leave your children?
The notion that anything is possible.
What has been your closest brush with the law?
Aside from many dubious random police stops in the late 80s to 90s, I’ve never, ever had any conversations with the police.
Would you rather have more sex, money or fame?
Money. With the power of money in the right hands, you can do so much to redress imbalances.
